<begin mid-school "girls are dumb" rant>
So why is it that no matter how hard you try, you can’t get the cutest girl (whom you’ve conveniently sat next to) on the UNM Shuttle to pay attention to you? And then a few hours later, the girl in the KFC drive through (the one who has more mascara than Tammy Faye) flirts with you and gives you a free apple pie? I really wish I could explain these quandaries…but if I could, then men would understand women and I’m pretty sure that a quantum singularity would appear and swallow the earth.
Suffice to say, the one tactic I most frequently employ to attract the attention of the female species didn’t work. That’s right, busting out the knitting failed me. All I got was a cursory glance at my hands, and then she continued to stare out the window. Did I mention that she was super hot? She was even my height (read: “very short”), and had an advanced biology textbook and a cool scarf. Does she not realize that we’re perfect for each other? How could the knitting fail? I mean, guys who knit are super hot aren’t they? Where was Emma when I needed her? Ugh. Girls are so confusing.
<end mid-school "girls are dumb" rant>
But you know what makes me feel better (and super hot)? My new shoes! That’s right, I went down to the friendly neighborhood department store and bought some cool shoes last night. They’re these Skechers clog type things, and they show off my socks superbly. Pictures at some point, when I actually remember to buy some AA batteries for the camera. And the funniest part? When the suit sales guy wandered over to complain to the shoes guys about not having any customers, and he looks at my denim stripe socks and says, “Young Man, what the hell are those on your feet?”
EDIT (10/19):
Here’s my swank new shoes, which I got for only $40. Pretty good eh?
And thanks for all the nice comments regarding the “girls are dumb” rant, you’ve all made my day just that much better, so thanks :)
How could you turn down a woman that can give you free apple pie?
Hmmm, it is a mystery. Knitting men always get me.
If the knitting didn’t get her, then you don’t really want her. There will be another hot chick to come along and she will dig your knitting. :)
well, she obvoiusly wasn’t a knitter if she wasn’t turned on by the sight of you knitting! she probably bought that scarf at the gap…would you really want a woman like that?
you should rock that free pie. it might turn into free coleslaw or even chicken ;)
ps, hot guys never gave me the time of day, but oh the crusty gross ones sure did. i met my hubby on a blind date set up by his mom. do your mom’s friends have any cute daughters?
I laughed, I cried, you rock
I hope you replied “OhmyGodOhmyGod Get it offa me! Where is it!! Oh, wait. Are you talking about my handknit socks?”
And as for the girl thing - she’s obviously not worth your time.
that’s too funny! the knitting “failed you” because she’s not as cool as she looks. in actuality, the knitting “saved” you
I’m not convinced you understand these ‘quantum singularities.’ They have less to do with women, and more to do with black holes… But I’m sure you will understand women some day, and you won’t have to feel guilty about destroying the earth or solar system or milky way when you do it.
hee hee. women ARE weird aren’t they?
Hey Adam! I agree with Karen, if she’s not interested in your knitting, well, then she’s just not interesting enough! Me? I’ll take free apple pie anyday… mascarey and all!
adam, when i clicked on your shoe link they actually screemed to me, “i’m adam’s shoes!!!” but you still need to have at least one nice black pair in your closet. i’m telling you… as for girls, they don’t make any sense to me either and i have the “inside track.”
oh yeah! i love your new shoes. yay zappos!!